Tag Archives: Feelings

MM: Sometimes being Mommy Sucks

14 Jul

Now before you leave nasty comments or deem me a “horrible mother”, Let me explain something to you.

I love my son. I love all the joy he brings me, all the wonderfulness he has brought to my life. I love being his mother.

but sometimes it sucks being mom.

I wanted to write this post to share the frustrations that mommyhood sometimes brings.

Yesterday was “one of those” days.

It seemed that about nothing could go right, my son was whining more than usual for of course, mommy, and he was constantly going back and forth between rather he wanted to be up on the couch, or down, what toy to play with, etc. Absolutely nothing was working and he just fussed. Daddy was taking care of some stuff so couldn’t come to the rescue, and let’s just be honest sometimes Daddies suck too ( I know my fellow mommies can feel me here)

So I just wanted to let my other fellow moms know, that I get it. Sometimes you try to be supermom and no matter what you try and do, it just doesn’t work. It’s okay. Things don’t always go as planned, and you definitely can’t predict your child’s temperment or behavior for the day. But what you can do is just say, “This is a mommy sucky moment, and I just need to take a step back and breath ( i know very sucky sounds childish, but trust me it works)

Kids are fun. You never know what you are going to get from day to day, but just take it all in stride. I know that you wouldn’t trade being mommy for the world, but it’s okay to have a moment of frustration. I think it’s important to take the time to go through those moments, so that you won’t get stressed out!!

Now go kiss on those beautiful babies of yours.

Until Next Time, Much Love,

MrsSpj 🙂

 

P.S.  I write this as my son is pulling the bottom of my clothes going back and forth under the table. Gotta love Mommyhood!

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1 of a Kind Bday :)

10 Sep

Last week, I had the chance to celebrate an AWESOME Birthday, but this is not just any kind of birthday….

You see, last week I celebrated one year of Zumba!

However, it is so much more than that… For me, I’m celebrating one year of smiles, one year of fitness, and one year of finally kicking “depression” in the butt.

That’s right. Before I started Zumba, as crazy as it may seem,
I was depressed.

It all started with the very first blog post, Something New..Something Unknown, where I was just in an awkward place after moving to Arkansas.
I didn’t post hardly at all because I spent my time, sitting on the couch in between frequent tears and calls to family and friends back home. SERIOUSLY.

I would get these horrible feelings in the pit of my stomach that I just couldn’t get rid of. I would cry, and sometimes I didn’t even know why. People would call my phone and they said I would sound even depressed on my voicemail. My husband encouraged me to talk to someone, but I didn’t, because as most people battling with depression, I felt that I could do it all by myself.

Some of you who have read this blog from the beginning, remember my I’m Angry post, where I was just really missing home. So many times, I suffered in silence. I lied to those closest to me, because I didn’t want them to know how bad it really was, and I didn’t want people giving me their pity. I went back and forth throughout the year I think trying to “convince” myself I was happy, when I simply wasnt. I remember asking myself, “What Have I Done” and I couldn’t even answer it myself. I thought I would never make it, but as most people know, God ALWAYS makes a way.

It’s been a journey but slowly but surely, I’ve come out of the really dark place that I was in. I believe not only Zumba help me do that, but surrounding myself with very positive people. All of a sudden, I was not only working on my health, but I had people supporting and encouraging me all along the way. I continuously prayed for an Answer, and God gave it to me through Zumba.

I met the Zumba Instructor (who I call FRIEND), Julie, who encouraged me to join the gym. I remember thinking, “what in the world am I getting myself into?” I started going about 3 times a week. I met Emily, who introduced me to everyone she knew at Zumba. Before I knew it, It became part of my routine, and I really didn’t even have time to think about missing home. I was too busy having fun, and meeting some awesome people. A year has passed and I can’t believe it myself!

This story is very personal for me, however I’m sharing it, because someone else may be suffering with relocation depression or simply depression, and I want you to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. That one day, it WILL get better, even when you think it wont. You WILL smile again, things WILL work out, and that God ALWAYS has the answer. For me, I just needed to get myself out of the house and doing things for a change. I needed to truly be a part of something, and surround myself with positive people, not simply the people from back home that reminded me of all that I was missing back home. I needed to be willing to do something different, and embrace the change instead of finding a million things wrong with it.

I’m so thankful, I’m so encouraged, and though I do miss home from time to time, I’m growing more and more each day. I’m thankful to all of those who have helped me overcome and It is something I’m still continuously working on because I don’t want to get back to that negative place.  So do what you need to if you are in a rut, and don’t let the Devil tell you what you can and CANNOT DO. Also, I probably should have talked to someone back then instead of trying to figure it all out myself. I encourage you to talk to someone if you really need to, and to just remember that God is ALWAYS there for you.

I just wanted to share my hope with you, and celebrate this one of a kind birthday 🙂

Until Next Time, Much Love,

Mrs. SPJ 🙂

P.S. Check out some pictures of us celebrating one year 🙂

 

Me & My Stef

Happy 1 Year

Glow Fun!

 

Girls celebrating 1 Year

 

Emily & I

 

Me & Julie (Zumba Instructor)

 

 

Music Moves Me

21 Aug

Music makes me want to move.
It makes me want to throw my hands in the air!
(And yes, wave them around like I just don’t care, lol)

Hence, my addiction to ZUMBA!

However, there are times when music just moves me to tears…                                 I wanted to share with you some of my favorite songs lately..

Thanks to a few Facebook friends, I’ve tracked down another song I love!

These songs move me, and just remind me how great God is…

What songs move you?

Please comment below and let me know! I’d love to hear them!

Until Next Time, Mrs SPJ…

 

 

“Friend-Filled” Weekend

20 Aug

I had such an awesome fun weekend that was definitely filled with some great people!
I’m so thankful for the friends that have come into my life!

Many of you may not know this, but in 2010, I faced depression due to relocating. (Those of you who have read my blog from day one know 🙂
I’m so thankful for starting Zumba and meeting some realyl cool girls and guys! Now Zumba is just as much a part of my active life as it is my personal life!

Today, I just wanted to not only share photos of my Z friends, but also to let them know how thankful I am for each and everyone of them for various reasons!

These pictures are from a Zumba Glow Party, Our Friday Night Fun, and the Zumba Master Class I went to on Saturday!

I’m telling you folks! It makes a difference in your life if you surround yourself with positive people! Positive people will push you, they will motivate you, they will have your back, and more than anything, if they are a true friend, they won’t let you forget to have fun!

I’m so thankful for my best friends, but I’m also thankful for this new crew, this new set of friends, who not only encourage me to stay in shape, but give great advice along the way!

If you have great friends, that’s awesome! If you aren’t sure, you should reevaluate the people you surround yourself with. I’m grateful for those crazy fun folks that are now a part of my life. Are you grateful for yours?

Something to think about!

Until Next Time, Much Love, Mrs. SPJ 🙂

 

My Biggest Enemy

22 May

It’s not a giant.
It’s not some person I simply disagree with.
It’s not even myself.
In fact it goes even deeper than that.
My biggest enemy is…

Not this girl pictured, but the state of emotion she is currently in.
FEAR.
I wouldn’t say that I’m a scary person (ok maybe just a lil bit),
but I fear a lot of things.

I fear waterbugs.
I fear tornadoes.
I fear pitch darkness.
I fear losing those I love.
I fear really scary roller coasters (Hence, the Texas Giant).
I fear life.

In a sense at least. It seems that I tend to allow fear to control so much of my life, and everyday I try to work harder in getting over my fears.

For instance, I try harder to get close to waterbugs without having an anxiety attack. My hubby keeps saying, they are just bugs but somehow in my mind, I’m convinced they are these large monsters out to eat me alive.

Tornadoes, I’m learning are a part of living in AR. I’ve managed to not go crazy when I hear those sirens go off.
(Something completely new to me when I moved here)

I sleep in the darkness. The darkness is still. There is an akward peace to find there.

I’m also learning to find the tiny glimpses of light that peak through the darkness.

Losing those you love is a part of life. I know it’s something you can’t fear, and knowing that there is a really cool guy upstairs taking care of us all, kind of makes it easier 🙂

Scary rollercoasters? Well at least I have actually been on a few of them. I don’t know if I’ve necessarily conquered this fear, but it’s something in life I don’t HAVE to do. And thats OK.

Life. I don’t necessarily fear all of life, but sometimes I fear so much it seems like I am afraid of everything. I have got to do better about this. I know that God wouldn’t give me anything that I couldn’t handle, but the thought of conquering some things makes me quiver.

I read a really great article on fear once, that talked about how Fear is good and  feeling fear is okay: 9.Fear from the Healing Eagle

However,  Fear cannot control us.
It can’t control all the decisions we make, why we choose to do things or not.
It can’t have us constantly looking over our backs or avoiding things that may be the best thing to ever happen to us.

I challenge you to conquer your fears. To meet them head on, and to not let them consume you. It’s something I’m determined to not let take over my life.

Today, I stand firm, and my thoughts of fear can best be addressed in this simple quote:

“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”

Frank Herbert
Until Next Time Much Love,  Mrs. SPJ 🙂

Remember to Love

8 May

Well, Today is another beautiful day in May.
It’s pretty quiet here and the weather is nice.
However, in my hometown of North Carolina, today is a voting day where people must decide to vote for or against Amendment One.

The existing law states this:
“Marriages, whether created by common law, contracted or performed outside of North Carolina, between individuals of the same gender are not valid in North Carolina.”

If Amendment one is adopted, it would add to Article 14 of the constitution and basically mean this:
“Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State. This section does not prohibit a private party from entering into contracts with another private party; nor does this section prohibit courts from adjudicating the rights of private parties pursuant to such contracts.”

Well I’m not going to tell you how to vote, BUT I will tell you this..
Remember to LOVE.

Everything I aspire to do, everything I am, is rooted in love.

I personally don’t like to get too over involved in politics, but I do read and research, and I do vote. Too many of my ancestors fought for my right to do so.

This amendment to me is full of gaps  and seems that it will lead to the political process having way too much control over our lives. This Amendment takes away rights. Don’t believe me? Research it yourself. How It Affects Everyone

I just want us to remember to love, people. The government has enough control as it is, why would we just want to give them even more?

Secondly, I would hate to see a friend hurt or harmed from what this Amendment stands for.

So today, I just want us to focus on love.
I want for us all to strive to be happy.
To strive to live in peace.
To stop trying to allow people to take away rights that aren’t theirs in the first place.

If we sit by quietly and allow Amendment 1 and other laws go into place, well then we might as well be right back in the 50s.

Until Next Time Much Love, Mrs. SPJ


 

 

Lessons Learned-Exes Are exs for a reason

6 Mar

I’ve learned a lot over the past 3 decades 🙂
I feel like I’ve grown a lot as well.
I’m always sharing my life with you all, but I thought I should share with you some vital lessons I’ve  learned over the years. To start this off, I thought I would talk about the “EX’s” we’ve had in our lives.

You know, there is a lot to be learn in a relationship, and sometimes even more to learn when you get out of a relationship. My dear friend, B.Scott, always says that “Exes are an X for a reason”. I must tell you I couldn’t agree more! I thought this would be a great topic to talk about because some friends of mine back home have talked about their exes and we’ve had discussions on them, and they’ve been very interesting thoughts and statements made when it comes to exes. Let me share with you why I believe exes are an X for a reason.

1. My friends always tell me how their exes treated them like dirt, how they were rude, had an attitude, or just down right abusive. Yet, in still you want to take them back. Why would you ever want to allow someone to treat you like that again? I’m not saying that people can’t change, but the fact that they do doesn’t mean they have to be a part of your life.

2.  Why go back to the past, instead of marching forward to the future? I mean the way I see it, Lot’s wife looked back and became a pillar of salt in the Bible. To me, that’s saying that you sometimes have to move on forward, or you become nothing when you go back or dwell in the past. How do you know that there isn’t something better out there for you?

3. Why would you want to take someone back who obviously decided at one point they didn’t want to be with you anymore? If you let them go, why would you want to go back to something that at one point, you didn’t think would work for you?

Please help me understand. Trust me, I know we’ve all made mistakes time and time again, but the truth of the matter is. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. YOU ARE DESERVING. That’s probably the biggest thing I want you to remember. You Deserve someone who treats you like the princess and queen you are. Someone who WILL NOT call you out of your name. Someone who will not hurt you, and Someone who will discover new reasons everyday why they love you and want to be with you (not just simply a way to get out).

I know it’s easier said than done TRUST ME, I’ve been there. But one day, you will wake up, and realize, you deserve WAY MORE and you need someone who will love and appreciate you for who you are.

I’ve been wanting to write this post for awhile because I have a very dear friend who just recently got back into a relationship with someone who was very abusive. I also have a friend back in NC considering getting back with someone and it bothers me from time to time. I know it sucks being lonely, but I always tell people, you have to give God the time to write your love story. It’s not in OUR time but HIS time. Just trust in him, keep the faith, pray, and your true heart’s desire will come true…..

Remember, YOU DESERVE IT.

Until Next Time, Mrs. SPJ 🙂

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