Tag Archives: African American Women

The Black Post

18 Feb

Guess what?

I’m Black.
(as if you couldn’t tell with the picture to the right of this post)

But I am.

Which means…. The current state of race relations in America and the things people say about my  brothers, sisters, friends,etc sometimes frustrate me to no end, and at other times they make me sad. So in lieu of Black History month, and well, me, being black, there are just some things on my mind I just have to express.

You see, you can’t understand certain experiences unless you have them.

You don’t know what it’s like to have people stare at you when you go in the store like you are going to steal something, just because you are black.

You don’t know what it’s like for people to express “how smart you are” or “how proper you speak” as if a black woman who is intelligent is something unheard of. (GASP)

You don’t know what it’s like to have people constantly accuse you of only caring about current politics because our president is black. (Come on people, really?)

You don’t know what it’s like to witness an African American man, who COMPLETELY deserved the sports honors he received  get called “thug” and the one that makes my skin cringe the most, “boy”.

You don’t know what it’s like to see your people in the streets fighting for justice and equality be called “thugs”, while white men do the same and are called “armed militia”

Yep. This is the world we live in.

So because of the melanin in my skin and because I have this burning desire to do so, I have to say something! I just have too. These are the things, my blackness wants to scream from the rooftops:

Number 1 : When you say, Love sees no color, you are right. But guess what? Racists do.

Number 2. Black Lives Matter, isn’t saying that the lives of others don’t. Every time you see #blacklivesmatter just add the adverb “too” on the end, k?

Number 3: We don’t care how many black friends you have. The number of black friends you have doesn’t qualify you for some type of program, badge, etc..
(I still don’t get this one)

Number 4: My hair, is my hair, because it’s the hair God gave me. Rather it’s straight, curly, kinky, relaxed, or natural it’s mine and I can do all kinds of things to it. Oh and no, I didn’t magically grow braids over night, they are extensions.

Number 5: There is nothing you can say to me, that will convince me that Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Walter Scott, Sandra Bland, and the list continues that these people should be dead. NOTHING.

Number 6: Refers back to Number 5, don’t tell me that race didn’t play a part when you have people like Dylann Roof getting burger king after killing 9 people.

Number 7: No, I don’t have a baby’s daddy, yes my husband and I are married, and yes we are doing fine. It does happen. Don’t believe everything you see.

Number 8: Black Panthers were NOT terrorists. They were PROTECTORS. They ran free breakfast programs, sickle cell anemia screenings, and so much more. They wanted to show love for a people at a time where black people were forgotten most. They EMPOWERED black people and stressed that “black was beautiful” when the world said it was NOT.

Number 9: Saying I LOVE black people, and I LOVE being black, doesn’t mean I hate everything else. We should all love ourselves. Stop trying to turn Self Love, into <INSERT GROUP HERE> hate.

Number 10: God is love, he loves you, he made us all different and that’s okay. But don’t disregard my blackness.

This my friends, is my black post. Things I’ve been screaming to say on the inside, but maybe haven’t.

I still love you’ll!

Oh yeah, and #blacklivesmatter (too)

Until Next Time, Much Love,

Stephanie 🙂

P.S. – I love you’ll.. I hope you (STILL) love me 🙂









Real House. Real Wife. Real Life.

31 Jan

That’s me.
I consider myself a REAL Housewife simply because of that.
Lately, Facebook and twitter has been flooded with comments about the drama on shows such as Real Housewives of Atlanta, Basketball Wives, etc.
I just don’t get it.
I don’t understand why so many African-American women have the chance to show themselves in a positive light, yet choose to portray us as nasty, having larger than life attitudes, vindictive, greedy, and just plain rude.  It really bothers me I tell you.  Grant it, I’m not in the same economical arena that they are in, nor do I have careers similar to them (the ones that actually have careers), but I can tell you one thing.  What is portrayed on the show is not real life, and for those of you who know people who base how African-American women are solely off of this, it is inaccurate.  A lot of the women on these shows, blame the editors and producers of the show, but there is only so much that an editor can do. My life might not appear interesting enough to qualify for “high ratings” according to television standards, but I’m pretty blessed.  Here’s a snippet to my Real Housewife episode:

I have an amazing hubby who is probably the most sarcastic person in the world, but he is addicted to running and  good food. He even cooks sometimes and brings it up on a tray to our room (which makes him the world’s best husband)
I work out with an amazing group of girls and have an amazing Instructor during the week.
I have the greatest friends and family a girl could ask for, and I talk to them quite often.
I have several children in my life that I’m obsessed with (none my own) and I would secretly kidnap them all if I could (and that’s okay, their mothers wouldn’t mind)
I work day in and day out for a non-profit that is changing lives everywhere around the WORLD and the only organization like it in the U.S. (pretty awesome)
I like to hangout with friends and have dinner parties and play games that make me probably look ridiculously stupid.

That’s my life. That’s what God gave me. And I think it’s pretty awesome. My husband and I don’t always get along, but hey, that’s life. It’s not drama filled. We don’t yell at each other. I’m not screaming at my girlfriends or starting drama, or some he said/she said mess. You know why? Because that’s not real life. Real life consists of getting up everyday, thanking God for what he gave ya, and making life work no matter what your circumstances are. It’s loving and appreciating your family and friends, knowing that time is never promised, and each minute or second given is a blessing. It’s about taking what you have and making it work, and giving something back to this world. It’s about using up every minute with no regrets and making life worth it!

It’s not a drama filled episode of screaming and yelling and acting a fool. If anything, some of these shows should be an example of “how not to act”. It really kills me how some of these girls watch these shows, and try to mimic what they see, when it’s really not cute at all. I don’t even watch the shows. However, I hear about the drama on the radio, and I read about it because it is showcased everywhere! The only area that I’m guilty in is because I do love watching “The Braxtons” but that is due to my love for Toni and the sisters. There are areas in which they could improve as well.

Am I saying that I’m perfect? Absolutely not.
What I am saying though, is that we have to do better.
Not only as African American Women, but Women in general.
We have to stop beating ourselves up and participating in all this drama and getting ourselves involved in nonsense.
Let’s be role models for our sisters, cousins, daughters, future daughters, and friends. We can’t do anything about what’s on TV, but we can choose to look away, turn it off, or set examples for others..

Real House. Real Wife. Real Life. That’s ME 🙂

Until Next Time, Mrs. SPJ 🙂

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