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Dear Perfect Parent,

25 Apr

Or shall I say, to the parents I see out and about staring at me, sometimes pointing,  and piercing me with their eyes while my child is having a moment.

I see your eye rolls.  I see your glares.

I see you mouth the variety of statements from the following choices of:

“she has no control over her child”
“my child never acted like that”
or my favorite
“she needs to give him a good spanking”

Yep. I see it all right along with my fellow parents of children  deemed “different” “special” or “misbehaved”.

We see everything. But what is sad is, that you don’t.

You don’t see how desperately we want our children to be on their best behavior.
You don’t see how we want them to enjoy the same activities that your children do.
You don’t see the constant appointments that turn into disappointments, the desire to do what’s best for your child but at times not knowing what that is or even means, and you don’t see the pain that YOU cause, by  your actions.

I can’t tell you how many times YOUR actions have caused me to second guess mine.
How I have sat at a table holding my child with severe anxiety in my hands and tears rolling down my face because at times I don’t know what to do or  how to keep the world from spinning around me in slow motion, to only look at you staring across the way, judging me.

I try to be strong, I need to be strong, for my child, but your judgement, your ridicule, your disgusting lack of respect for my child and situation, make a difficult situation even worse at times. When you have a child that is already labeled “different” and reacts to life on edge at times, you simply want to crawl in a hole somewhere, and there you are, ready to throw dirt on top and bury me.

Perfect parents, I’m sorry my child is keeping you from enjoying your perfect little world. Perfect teachers, I’m sorry my child doesn’t learn the way you teach. Perfect family members & friends, I’m sorry the way I’m raising my child doesn’t line up with what you all did “back in the day”.

I’m raising my child, I’m loving him, and I’m fighting for him along with a large majority of parents out there still learning how to find the right resources for their children and fight for their needs. At times, all I can do is pray because I’m trying so hard to “love like Jesus” when your actions make me want to go off on you in public and say things which Jesus would definitely not approve of. But I leave you with this-

When you see a child having a moment in public, think long and hard about how you respond. Before judging them, before putting them in categories, and deeming  my parenting “unfit” in your eyes, just stop and think- there’s a chance it couldn’t be what you think. The child having a moment could be struggling with a disorder, disability, etc.
Everything can’t be seen with the naked eye.

To those people who are supportive- I’m not talking to you. I love you. I thank you. You give the “high fives” when moments are rough.

To my fellow mamas and papas of these special children God has blessed you with, don’t lose hope. I get it. I know it’s tough and people are mean. But we can do this. God gave us these awesome children for a reason.

Until Next Time, Much Love

SPD MOM- Steph

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My Mommy (I mean Newborn) Must Haves (or favorites)

11 Aug

Hello Friends!

Because I didn’t update much while I was pregnant, I always like to use Mondays to reflect on Motherhood, and maybe even reflect back! This Monday, I wanted to share with you my Mommy must haves when Christian was a baby!!

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The most incredible little things these were! I remember after Christian was born, he was super fussy one night. I didn’t know what tll the fuss was, and did everything in my power to comfort him. One nurse came in, asked if we needed anything, and we let her know our son was a little bit fussier than normal. She told us, “you swaddled him all wrong!” I watched as she picked my little 9 pounder up, and swaddled him perfectly. It was as if the gates of heaven opened, and he went peacefully to sleep. For 3 months straight, swaddlers did the trick!We really liked Halo’s sleepsacks and Summer Infant the best!


SNUZA HERO BABY MONITOR

Call me paranoid, but this little device put me at east like you would NEVER believe. I was on the fence when it came to baby monitorsbut knew that I wanted one. We had friends who had lost their babies to SIDS, and had read various stories (the internet is horrible for those reasons alone), and it just made me nervous. I had heard about the SNUZA and was convinced it was the one I had to have. We loved it because it was mobile, comfortable for baby, and more than anything, RELIABLE. I remember the first night I woke up from its alarm. It scared me at first, because Christian was so still and til this day we don’t know what that brief moment was caused by or about, but SNUZA brought me so much relief. The little device clips to the child’s diaper and detects their breathing. If they aren’t breathing properly, it buzzes to alert them, and then an alarm will sound to alert you. One of my ALL TIME FAVORITE things in the world. There were a few false alarms when Christian became very active, but I appreciated it, because it let me know the product WORKED. DEFINITE must have for me.


FISHER PRICE OCEANS WONDER SOOTH AND GLOW SEAHORSE
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Brilliant little seahorse! This was one of Christian’s first and FAVORITE toy of all. When Christian was a newborn we would push the Seahorse’s little stomach so that it would glow and play soft music for our baby boy. He loved it! His eyes would fixate on the little glowing stomach and he lullabies would sooth him to sleep. After 5 minutes, the little seahorse would turn off, and baby boy would be sleep. In the beginning he didn’t grasp it as much, but a time came when he was old enough he would push the little seahorse’s stomach and lay down. We have purchased other items with the same idea in mind, yet Christian always reverted back to this one. It even was packed to go on a trip with us just to keep little man happy.

  
BRITAX TRAVEL SYSTEM

I’m convinced that when you have a newborn this is the ONLY (well maybe not), but BEST way to go! Some people think why should I buy this car seat that I can only use until the baby is 20+ pounds when convertible car seats go way beyond that. HERE’S WHY: When you are out and about with baby, and you need to go in the store, out walking, etc. you will appreciate having that car seat that can go in a buggy at the grocery store, on that stroller when you are out walking, and being able to sit it down softly when you come in the house and find you have to use the bathroom badly! We had the B-Safe by Britax, and my husband and I hated almost regretted having to switch our child out to a bigger car seat!! The B safe car seat with the B- Agile was the best Travel System for us! I still use the stroller today!


ERGOBABY BABY CARRIER

The best of the best HANDS DOWN! I remember seeing my friend Jen put her baby in what to me originally seemed like some type of contraption.
I didn’t see what all the hype was about when It came to Ergobaby until I tried on several carriers. Ergobaby not only has baby’s comfort in mind but momma’s comfort as well! It felt good on my back (I had several back problems and pain after having Christian) and Christian was so snuggly in it. I used the carrier to travel, clean, and to support baby while I was out and about. If you want a good reliable carrier, pay the price and get an Ergobaby! It’s worth it!  I knew I wasn’t going to be one of those moms who had her baby wrapped up to her. The thought of wearing my baby with a wrap terrified me! Ergobaby was perfect and super easy to use!

PAK AND PLAY
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Can we say lifesaver? After having a c section the healing process can take some time. Our pak and play was a lifesaver. My husband could move it around where it needed to be, and I could get to baby very easily. Christian loved his pak and play so much, he would fall asleep in it without a problem! I recommend pak and plays to keep baby active yet safe when they are still small.

BOPPY PILLOW
This pillow was used for so many different things from breastfeeding to having the baby lay comfortable, etc.,I could go on and on! There is a reason this pillow is a top baby purchase until this day! It just works! We had two or three different covers that we would swap out!

GAS DROPS

Can we talk about how wonderful they are? My son was a very gassy baby and uncomfortable so many times, but these gas drops gave him sooO much relief. I read about them and had heard other mommies talking about them, but I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing for my son. Gas drops immediately calmed my son and he would sleep so peacefully. (WHERE HAVE THOSE DAYS GONE?) We loved the Little Tummys brand from Walgreens.

GRIPE WATER

It deserves it’s own listing because to me when gas drops wouldn’t work, Gripe water did. Gripe Water to me was like gingerale for babies. Gripe Water would get rid of my son’s hiccups and if he was gassy it also worked for that as well. I found sometimes Gripe water worked and other times Gas Drops did. He also loved the taste of it!

THE WUBBANUB

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It became my son’s favorite thing even more the older he got. It’s the best of both worlds: A Pacifier and Stuffed Animal. I loved it, because I could give it to my son at night in his pak and play and not worry about the cord getting wrapped around his neck or causing him discomfort. He became so fond of the wubbanub (we called it Clifford!) With it’s size, it wouldn’t get lost, Christian was easily able to hold it in his hands, and he loved it! He was heartbroken when we decided not to give him a pacifier anymore! We didn’t want a toddler walking around with a Binky!

So those are 10 of my favorite items Christian used as a newborn!! If I had to do it all over again (and who knows I just may one day), I would have at least these 10 items on hand! What are some of your favorite baby items?

Until Next Time, Much Love,

Mrs. SPJ

MM: Sometimes being Mommy Sucks

14 Jul

Now before you leave nasty comments or deem me a “horrible mother”, Let me explain something to you.

I love my son. I love all the joy he brings me, all the wonderfulness he has brought to my life. I love being his mother.

but sometimes it sucks being mom.

I wanted to write this post to share the frustrations that mommyhood sometimes brings.

Yesterday was “one of those” days.

It seemed that about nothing could go right, my son was whining more than usual for of course, mommy, and he was constantly going back and forth between rather he wanted to be up on the couch, or down, what toy to play with, etc. Absolutely nothing was working and he just fussed. Daddy was taking care of some stuff so couldn’t come to the rescue, and let’s just be honest sometimes Daddies suck too ( I know my fellow mommies can feel me here)

So I just wanted to let my other fellow moms know, that I get it. Sometimes you try to be supermom and no matter what you try and do, it just doesn’t work. It’s okay. Things don’t always go as planned, and you definitely can’t predict your child’s temperment or behavior for the day. But what you can do is just say, “This is a mommy sucky moment, and I just need to take a step back and breath ( i know very sucky sounds childish, but trust me it works)

Kids are fun. You never know what you are going to get from day to day, but just take it all in stride. I know that you wouldn’t trade being mommy for the world, but it’s okay to have a moment of frustration. I think it’s important to take the time to go through those moments, so that you won’t get stressed out!!

Now go kiss on those beautiful babies of yours.

Until Next Time, Much Love,

MrsSpj 🙂

 

P.S.  I write this as my son is pulling the bottom of my clothes going back and forth under the table. Gotta love Mommyhood!

MM: The “Sleep” Thing

7 Jul

Last night little man slept in his crib. YAY!!! (I think)

Monday Morning

Monday Morning

I don’t know about you, but the whole “sleep” thing when you are a parent is a big deal. People say, “Don’t let them sleep with you, it’s not good” then there are others saying, “put them in the bed, it’s easier!” I find as a mother, the best thing for your child, is what works for you. If it works for you to have them sleep with you, then so be it! If it works for you to have them strictly in their crib, well there you go! You’ve got to find a good balance.

For my husband and I, when Christian was a tiny little baby, we had a co sleeper we loved to put him in. However, we found the co sleeper did not work well in our bed, so we began swaddling him and giving him his own little space in our bed. It was when we put him in our bed we finally got that sleep we were looking for! At 2 months, he would sleep almost completely through the night with waking up only once for a bottle! A few months later, we transitioned him to the pak and play which was favorite! We actually got to the point we would give him a bottle at night, lay him down, and he’d go right to sleep. No rocking, No cuddling, No babying, just SLEEP!

So yesterday transitioning into his crib was something else!. We went through about 5 minutes of him crying off and on. I patted his back, told him he was okay, it was time to go to bed, and I sat by his crib so he could see that I was still there. Meanwhile his nighttime lullabies were playing. Once he was quiet, I left the room and found a bit of relief. That was shortly interrupted by an outburst of crying. I watched on through our video monitor, and asked my husband to comfort him. I think in my mind, I knew that me comforting him would probably result in me taking him out of the crib into the pak and play that he was so use to. I watched my husband try and lay with him then he sat with him, rocked him, and put him in his crib. That was it. No more crying, No more outbursts, he was sleep. He remained that way until this morning when I woke him up to start the day.

Overall, him sleeping in his crib, was not as rough as I thought it would be. I guess breaking him of sleeping with us when he was really young helped us. I just missed waking up in the middle of the night, and looking over at him in his pak and play. It seemed like him sleeping in his room made him officially not my tiny little baby anymore! He’s a toddler now full of spunk and into everything!!!

So mommas, This momma monday post is to encourage you to do what works for you and the baby! Also, to encourage those who have been hesitating on switching their baby to the crib, it really isn’t that bad. Take your time, do what you need to do, but start the switch!!! You can do it!

Until Next Time, Much Love,

Mrs. SPJ 🙂

Mommy Mondays: Affection

16 Jun

Hey Friends!

As a mom, I find myself constantly bonding with other Mommies over our incredibly cute and amazing human beings 🙂 I’ve had so many people ask me my opinion on certain things when it comes to being a mom, so I thought why not start Mommy Mondays? If you have anything you would like to see me post about, etc… Let me know! I’m open! (Well kind of..)

So for this first Mommy Monday.. I have to be honest and tell you what I’ve been thinking about. My heart has actually been aching for those children out there who will never see the happiness of having two parents actively involved with one another, loving one another, etc. This post may seem a bit controversial for some, but those are not my intentions. In fact, my intention is to truly shed some light and get your feedback.

I just know Christian knew these past few days that it was Father’s Day weekend. He constantly cried for “DaDa” and wanted to follow him everywhere he went, and lay on him. It’s the cutest thing I tell ya. Last night, I was joking around with my husband, telling Christian it was Father’s Day (Happy Father’s Day to those daddies out there) which means we have to smother him with love, hugs, and kisses.  Well I noticed every time I showed Christian how to give Daddy hugs and kisses, his little face would light up with joy! He was beaming from the inside and out. At first I thought he was just getting a kick out of my movement, but that wasn’t it. Christian showed complete utter happiness, uncontrollable almost, at his mommy and daddy showing affection (even if we were being super duper overly silly). This went on for about 5 to 10 minutes and he just clapped his hands and smiled from ear to ear.

Then it hit me.

How many children grow up without seeing this?

How many children miss this kind of joy or don’t even get the chance to experience it?

It makes me sad. I know there are some incredible single parents out there doing their job, and I don’t want to take away from that, but I do want to stress the importance of children seeing adults in safe, loving, relationships, teaching their children about affection.

I want my son to grow up knowing how to properly show love to others. I want him to know that as a boy growing up to be a man, it is okay to show affection. You don’t have to hold emotion in, and I want him to learn what it means to love and what isn’t love.

My son is learning this at a young age. As a 1 year old, he’s growing each and everyday, and I know that he’s soaking things in this early, even if he can’t recall the memory.

I’m not perfect, nor do I ever claim to be, but I encourage you to be careful what kind of relationships you introduce to your child, as well as what you allow your child to see. If you have a significant other, who treats your child like their own, then I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to the mothers or the fathers out there constantly going on dates with various people, introducing them to your children. I’m talking to those out there in abusive relationships “because you love him”. What are you teaching your child? It’s so important to teach them how to love, show affection, etc. I can’t stress this enough.

That’s all for today. This is so important to me. Our kids are watching us! They want to make us proud, and if you’re lucky, they want to be like you too!

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Just something to think about.

Until Next Time, Much Love,

Mrs. SPJ 🙂

 

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