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The Friendship Rules, Grown Up Version (Kind of)

10 Jun

Hello Friends!

Another week, so much to be thankful for… Including Friends.

“Friends”. The word is so weird to me actually. I mean it is used so loosely. Depending on the person, it can mean so little or it can mean so much. I remember being in kindegarten telling my mom all about my dear friend, Macie Kennedy.We were classmates, went to the same center afterschool, and she was awesome. Pretty, a killer smile, and back then we were obsessed with Paula Abdul. In fact, Macie was Paula, and I was Janet (that’s Ms. Jackson if your nasty).

Then there was those Kelly boys. You couldn’t tell me anything. Nick was my bestest friend in the world, and so was his brother Andrew. We would always act out as if we were the Save by the Bell cast. I had so many great friends at the time. I mean being in 4th grade, I thought it was cool. There was Summer, too who was pretty awesome, sometimes bossy.

Then I met Valencia my first day of middle school. No joke, I remember running home to my mom saying, “Mom! I met my first black friend!” Not that race mattered, but for me it was nice to have a friend who happened to share my heritage (and school). “V” was edgier, cooler, and I looked up to her. She had the coolest parents in the world, and finally, I had someone to go on long bike rides with in the neighborhood. It was also during my middle school year I became close to Tiffanie and Muffin. I always had a relationship with Tiffanie because we were great friends (our moms went to church together), but in Middle School we really became close.



The Band Room with V, 6th Grade (Please disregard the socks)

The Band Room with V, 6th Grade (Please disregard the socks)



Me, Tiff, and Muffin across the bridge I believe. We liked to hang out there although our parents always told us we couldn’t. We did occasionally. (Sorry mom)

I could go on and on and tell you about my episodes and the word “friend” or “best friend”. It was in college I met Amitria and her twin, Anitria. I love those girls, and I always look back and smile at the connection of  my bestie Mitra and her husband, who when we were in college was one of my best friends too!There’s my Kelz from Grad School, J Cole, and so many more! I can’t even begin to tell you all the great friends I’ve made in this life so far. Some I consider friends, Some I consider “besties”. I’ve always had best friends, great friends, ok friends, etc, but I believe as you grow older, some friendships prove to grow stronger, others, dwindle away, and then some, well they go in “we have an unspoken understanding” mode.
So I know your thinking, Okay I get it, so whats with these so called “Friendship rules”. Well, recently I was having a discussion with one of my girls, and I was telling her how when I moved here, I didn’t realize how blessed I was with the friends I already had,  and that my husband was urging me to find friends when I moved to Arkansas. Surely that would be easy right? Notsomuch.

I’m a loving person, I love to meet people (or so I thought), but making friends as a grown up for me is quite awkward. I lucked out and made a good friend when I accepted my first job here, but I was still quite lonely. I was missing my circle of friends back home (even those I didn’t see all the time). Arkansas felt like a very lonely place. I tried to make plans with people, but it sometimes felt forced, or it felt like I was hanging with my husband’s friends.Grant it, i’m grateful for the fun times, but it felt weird. So in my process to make friends, keep friends, etc.. I’ve decided to come up with the Friendship rules. I think many women can relate, and maybe even reconsider some of their friendships after reading this.

1. Always Be Yourself- Don’t become a skydiver or wine drinking gal over night if it’s not your thing. A real friend should accept you for who you are anyways. This especially goes out to my younger girls that are reading this!

2. Try and put yourself out there, but don’t be stupid- My husband was right. You have to go places, to meet new people. Try and make plans with new friends, but if they cancel all the time, then maybe you should make a different friend! Don’t let go of this one, just don’t try and make plans with a friend that will be canceled anywho.

3. Drop the Drama- There comes a point in time in your life when you realize you are grown. You don’t have time to play games (unless it’s Taboo or Phase 10), or be friends with someone who you constantly have to be drawn into drama with. You know, you go to a club, there’s that girl (she’s your friend)  that’s gettin crunk and loud about to find in the club. I mean, when I see posts about things like this on Facebook, I want to ask the people that post this stuff, “how old are you?” or “do you know how stupid and childish you look?”

4.Find Friends in your Interests- Okay so it sounds weird, but I’m basically saying that if you like something, and someone else likes something, doesn’t it just make sense to like it together? Some of the greatest friends I have made, have been in Zumba. I found myself wanting to go to the gym and actually work out, due to some of my friends. I even have Stef with an “f” to thank for introducing me to some new workouts (that totally kick my butt.)


5. Understand that friends Shift, modes change, Relationships change- Some of my friends, or girls, I’ve never skipped a beat with. We still text everyday, talk, pray for one another, etc. We are constantly in the automatic driving mode. Then you have friends that for some reason, you dont talk to as often, or maybe you find that things are just different and there is no way to even explain it. It just happens. Don’t spend so much time (like I did in high school) trying to figure out what happened, why it happened. Sometimes you will find out that it just does. No need to put the car in reverse, just accept and move on. I’m not saying they have to be removed  as a friend(maybe?), I’m saying accept the shift.

6. Some friends don’t shift, life just happens/changes- I have friends that I may not talk to everyday, because I have come to accept that they are busy, they have accepted that I have a lot going on as well. We love each other and keep in touch with one another probably through social media,text, etc…. However, there is this “unspoken (sometimes spoken) understanding. I love how Mitra and Tiara often texts or leave messages saying, I know I don’t talk to you often but your still one of my best friends and I love you. Love you too girls.

7. Stop with the Friendship/Bestie Time Requirements- At the end of the day, you can find that one of your very best friends you’ve only known for a year(maybe even less). It’s all in the level the friendships take- How you treat them, How they treat you. The quality time you spend together, yada yada.

8.Be Open- You may make a friend, when you least expect it! I made a great friend at a New Year’s Even Party once because we had so much in common.

9. Understand the Give and Take- Friendship is give and take. I’ve tried to make friends with some people who require so much out of me. I’m calling all the time, I’m leaving messages, inviting them places, sending you messages on Facebook, opening that door, only to find them constantly closing the door. Friendship requires TWO people. Working Together. It sounds like a given or basic for you, but you would be shocked how so many people forget this MAJOR Rule of Friendship. I don’t have time to make friends with someone who isn’t willing to do what it takes to make it work.

10. Remember You’re Grown (if you are)- At the end of the day, if you are like me, you have responsibilities, a family, and so much on your plate. It’s nice to have friends, besties, but it should ADD to your life, not take away from it.

That’s it friends. It’s really rather simple, there are just some things to remember. I’m so grateful for my besties/girlies (is there an age limit to this word?), long time friends, church friends, family friends, co worker friends, and my friends out in this virtual world (this means you.)

Until Next Time, Much Love,

Mrs. SPJ

P.S. Go make friends and be merry! Don’t stress! Oh and enjoy some pictures of some of my besties, girlies, friends.. Whichever term you prefer 🙂

Longtime Besties  (Almost 20 years of friendship here.)

Longtime Besties
(Almost 20 years of friendship here.)

Me and Kelz

Me and Kelz



Some of my AR girls!




Fall Traditions

17 Oct

Today’s Blogtober Fest topic, was to share Fall Traditions….

At first, I thought, well I don’t really do anything that is  a  so called “tradition”, but the more I thought about it, there are things my husband and I did last year, that we plan to continue doing so I guess we do have our own traditions!

1. Friendsgiving- I had a coworker once tell me that she was having dinner with all of her friends, just to celebrate all the things they are thankful for, etc… I can’t remember all the details, but I remember thinking, what a splendid idea? I’m going to get together a group of my friends and do the same!!!!

2. Fall Cleaning??- It’s simple. Do some spring cleaning in the fall. I personally like to really take a serious look in my closet, and see if I truly need everything that I have, or is there something I can give away and donate to those in need! This is something I do frequently throughout the year, especially in fall though!

3.  Charity Walks! WHoo hoo!- Although they are often done many times throughout the year, it wasn’t until last Fall I truly was inspired to really get involved! Last year, I walked in the Susan G. Komen Race for the first time in honor of my coworker, Paula, and it was amazing! This year, I will be volunteering at the race, but I also have decided to take on a walk to raise money for the Arkansas Aids Foundation! This is such an amazing organization where money actually goes to to physician care, lab work, and life sustaining medications for people living with HIV/AIDS who are not currently eligible for other assistance. I’m asking people to give me at least a dollar so I can help raise money for an organization that is slightly overlooked sometimes!
Please click the link below and make a donation today:


So my Fall traditions consists of cleaning, friends, and giving back in more ways than one. I love being involved and making a difference in the lives of others. I also love spending time with those I love.

What Fall Traditions do you have? Any similar to mine?  I’d love to  know! Please share!!

Until Next Time, Much Love,

Mrs. Spj 🙂


“Friend-Filled” Weekend

20 Aug

I had such an awesome fun weekend that was definitely filled with some great people!
I’m so thankful for the friends that have come into my life!

Many of you may not know this, but in 2010, I faced depression due to relocating. (Those of you who have read my blog from day one know 🙂
I’m so thankful for starting Zumba and meeting some realyl cool girls and guys! Now Zumba is just as much a part of my active life as it is my personal life!

Today, I just wanted to not only share photos of my Z friends, but also to let them know how thankful I am for each and everyone of them for various reasons!

These pictures are from a Zumba Glow Party, Our Friday Night Fun, and the Zumba Master Class I went to on Saturday!

I’m telling you folks! It makes a difference in your life if you surround yourself with positive people! Positive people will push you, they will motivate you, they will have your back, and more than anything, if they are a true friend, they won’t let you forget to have fun!

I’m so thankful for my best friends, but I’m also thankful for this new crew, this new set of friends, who not only encourage me to stay in shape, but give great advice along the way!

If you have great friends, that’s awesome! If you aren’t sure, you should reevaluate the people you surround yourself with. I’m grateful for those crazy fun folks that are now a part of my life. Are you grateful for yours?

Something to think about!

Until Next Time, Much Love, Mrs. SPJ 🙂


Atlantic City Baby!

11 Aug

Was sooooooooo Awesome!

We had a blast celebrating with our friends Kelly & Levar who had a beautiful ceremony on the Boardwalk…
Here is a mini recap..

It’s always good to be around great friends and to see two people who love each other so much make it “official”! Atlantic City was so amazing from the drinks, to the karaoke bar, to the amazing food!  There is so much shopping and such great food! Needless to say I am currently recuperating from all the food, drinks, and fun!!!

I also had the wonderful chance to see my mom on her birthday and my family that I haven’t seen in a few years! It felt really good and it was so great to see them!!!  We traveled from Atlantic City to PA for some much needed family time!
I have missed all of you on here as well! I have a box of samples that I’m waiting to try out and tell you all about!! Also, I seem to be keeping up lately on Instagram so you should follow me there!!! MrsSPJ

That is it for now friends!!!! I will be back in full effect as much as I can next week!!

Until Next Time, Mrs. SPJ 🙂

TX ReCap & More

5 Jun


Oh how I’ve missed you all!
I know I’ve been gone for a few days, but I took a MUCH needed vacay.
I think it is important to get away, to allow yourself time to relax and breathe (maybe have a lil fun)
Over the weekend, my husband and I drove down to Texas with some friends to help them celebrate their one year anniversary! It was so much fun!

My hubby and I before dinner

Enjoying San Antonio @ the Alamo

Such pretty ducks!

I had such a good time! We stayed in New Braunfels, TX and relaxed. We went shopping in San Marcos, Sight seeing in San Antonio, and just overall had a good time. I did a lil shopping, and boy did I eat?!?! Afterall, isn’t that what you do on vacay? I ate so much I’m currently on a diet regimen for the next week or so. Diet isn’t usually the word I run to, but it’s something I need for now to get myself back in order!

So much is going on right now that I will be sharing with you over the next week or so!

-Jewelry Finds (and inexpensive!)
-New Subscription Box (I think I really like this one!)
-Amazing New Beauty Items!
-My diet/detox regiment
-Cool Jewelry for a Cool Cause

Again so much to share with you all! Ill be letting you all in on everything soon though! Hope you are doing great!
Anything new going on?

Also, if you have any requests or would like information on something specific, just let me know and Ill make it happen!

Until Next Time, Much Love,

Mrs. SPJ 🙂

Turning 10, Fun, & More!

20 Apr

Today I turn 10 years old.
Well, not in age, but I’ve been a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc for 10 years today! I feel so blessed to simply be on this earth this year, but even more blessed that I joined an organization of such great, classy, intelligent, hard working women. In honor of the greatest sorority, I found the best quote this morning:

“Sisterhood is many things. It’s a warm smile on a cold and rainy day, a friendly hug, a cheerful hello… It’s all that a good and lasting friendship is, only better. It’s treasured. It’s sacred. It’s knowing that there will always be someone there for you. It’s dreams shared, and goals achieved. It’s counting on others and being counted on. It is real.”

Yep. I joined a sisterhood. A sisterhood that has grown, help me grow, taught me so much about life, and what it means to be a part of something bigger than yourself. For that, Ill be forever grateful, and I love my sorority sisters!

On another note, I’m so ready for the weekend! I even have a short to do list:

1.Clean My House
2. Try some new protein shakes
3. Do a bit of Spring Cleaning (Closet, Makeup, etc)
4. Pick out some beautiful flowers for the yard
5. Sing for Round 9 of the CreeIngles Idol Search (I’m the last female standing)

Yep, sounds like a plan.

What are your plans for the weekend?

I’m so grateful for a chance to just get some things done this weekend. I’m also grateful for a small giveaway.

1. Orange & Lavender Lip Balm
2. French Lavender
3. Copper
4. Gold Dust
5. Pink Tulip
6. Mermaid

Yep! That’s right! I love my readers so much, that when Madison Street Beauty had a big sale, I couldn’t pass up some of the colors! They had many samples on sale so I picked up 5 eye shadows and an Orange & Lavender Lip Balm! I purchased a small sample for myself and I loved it! I was very impressed with the pigmentation and how great the colors looked on my skin! I wanted you all to share in my join, after all I’m turning “10” today. So here is how it’s going to work. The first 3 people to leave a comment on my blog saying  what you like most  about my blog and what 2 samples you would like to try, can have it! Again these are just samples, but they have not been used. I simply wanted to open them so I could show you the colors! I gave some to my friend Stefanie, and she loved them! I would love your thoughts on the makeup as well! So leave a comment below, and for the first 3, enjoy your makeup!

Until Next Time, Much Love, Mrs. SPJ 🙂

Weekend Wonders

5 Mar

I had such an awesome weekend!
My mother in law came in to town and we had a great weekend! In fact, Ill just share my weekend through photos!

Friday night, My hubby got sleepy. Momma Louise (mother in law) and I decided to go with my coworkers Salsa Dancing! SO MUCH FUN!

The next day, after Zumba, Momma Louise and I went and found the cutest shoes! Yes they are kids but who cares?

Saturday night, My hubby and I agreed to judge a greek show and it was awesome! Kinda long, but awesome! Check us out showing our greek love!

Sunday morning, we went to Pinnacle Mountain after I suggested it!I really hate climbing that mountain but find myself doing it anyways!What was I thinking! It was beautiful as always anywho at the top!

We then went looking at cars (I will be getting a new one soon!) I then found the cutest summer sandals! I can’t WAIT to wear them!!! $150 shoes for $40 bucks?
Yep I call that a steal!

See! Just an awesome weekend! We shared good food, lots of fun and laugher! How was your weekend? Any big plans for the weekend? Not for me!!! I’m just trying to still move forward, lose weight, and be healthy! I will admit though, today I won’t be working out because I’m still sore from the mountain… So much for doing that for awhile… HA HA!

Until Next Time, Much Love,

Mrs. SPJ 🙂

P.S. I placed another order with Spectrum Cosmetics. Yep I’m hooked 🙂

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