I have to tell you about a very interesting conversation I had recently.
A lovely young lady asked me what it was like being young and married. I politely explained to her that it has its ups and downs like most things in life, but it’s what you make it.She proceeded to tell me that SEVERAL people had advised her to get even closer to her man, she should move in with him, and even, well, let me put it in her words,”test drive the car before you buy it”.I assured her while her friends may have had her best interest at heart, I could not recommend the same.
Let me take you down a stroll on memory lane.
I remember in 2008 when I truly knew that J was the one for me.
He was everything I never wanted but all that I needed wrapped up into one amazing man.
US in 2006
In my opinion, we fell for each other early on even though we were both hesitant. It was in 2009 when he proposed (such a cute story Ill have to tell you about later)
Anyhow, I was encouraged by my peers to move in with him as well when we became serious.
“What if it doesn’t work out?”, some said.
“You don’t even know what it’s like really being with him yet”, others chimed in since we had been doing this long distance thing forever.
My future hubby to be even mentioned it a few times, and the thought of it all was driving me insane.
“They are right”, I thought.
I even started thinking he may change his mind about marrying me since we did do this long distance thing forever.
After pondering it over and over again and praying about it, I just couldn’t do it.
It went against everything I believed in and the thought of me moving there before we were married, well it made me sick , even gave me headaches.
I broke the news to my “now” husband. He hesitantly was like, “well, ok”.
Now here we are, after 4 years of dating long distance, and almost 4 years of marriage, with the cutest lil man ever.
Some people are probably thinking okay Mrs.SPJ, what’s your point?
My point is, I stood by what I believed in and more than anything, I feel like my expectations, led me to more.
Just as the young woman I was having the conversation with.
I told her, to follow her heart.
In my mind, you don’t need to test drive a “man” or move in with him to see if it will work.
You put your faith in God that he will make a way and that in itself will make it work.
When you expect more, you get more.
I truly believe that is with anything.
Someone once asked me, what if my he (my husband) would have said, well then I can’t do this relationship? My response?
Well then I wouldn’t have been the one for him.
I believe God has someone for each and everyone of us, and that they should love us and accept us for who we are. They should celebrate our differences, and though we may not agree on everything, respect us. We shouldn’t have to change the beliefs that are deeply rooted in us to appease a relationship. I think that’s what is wrong with so many relationships today. We twist, turn, and change so much to accommodate others, but do we do the same for ourselves?
It’s time to expect more, and get the same in return.
Until Next Time, Much Love, Mrs. SPJ :)